


Tempest in a Teapot

by soufflegirl91



Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [21]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Bond is confused, Cracky humour, Humour, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Q really really does not like tea, at all, because everybody knows that Q likes tea, fluff i guess?, reverse trope day, they don't actually get together yet but they will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: Bond makes Q a cup of tea, and is confused by Q's reaction.
Relationships: James Bond/Q
Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809892
Comments: 12
Kudos: 66
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Tempest in a Teapot

**Author's Note:**

> For reverse trope day. Thank you to Christine for the idea "Q hates tea. Absolutely loathes it. And people keep bringing him boxes of high quality stuff" and Storm for the title idea! Also fills #8 "reverse a common trope" on the trope prompt table (the common trope being "Q loves tea")

“Uuughhh, what  _ is _ that?!” 

Q screwed up his face, sticking his tongue out in disgust. James couldn’t help feeling a little bit offended. His tea making skills weren’t  _ that _ bad! 

“Tea? Assam? The one I brought back from my mission in Dispur. It’s not  _ poisoned, _ ” he grumbled. “It’s very good quality, actually.” 

Q shoved the mug away from himself, still making “bleugh” noises, and James huffed. There was no need for Q to be so ungrateful, just because James hadn’t added the right amount of milk or sugar. It was just  _ tea! _

“Well, that explains it. Get that away from me.” 

“You… don’t like assam?” 

“Not just assam. I don’t like tea.”

“You don’t like tea?” James parroted, at a loss for what to say. 

James was confused. Q loved tea. Everybody knew Q loved tea. Practically the first thing Q had ever said to him was  _ about tea! _ James had  _ brought him tea _ back from India as a  _ gift _ because he knew Q liked tea. He had  _ made him a cup of said tea _ because he wanted to impress Q. What was this nonsense?! 

“No.”

“Not even Earl Grey?” James could tell he sounded desperate, but  _ what was going on?! _

“Not even Earl Grey.” Q was staring at him now, like he thought James was some sort of particularly stupid amoeba.

Was he being punked?! Surely that was the only  _ reasonable _ explanation to this nonsense! 

“Then what are you always drinking out of your scrabble mug?”  _ No _ , he was not grasping at straws, he was being  _ thorough _ ! 

“Coffee. Really, Bond, I don’t see what’s so strange about my caffeine habits. Are you feeling ok? Get hit on the head a bit harder than we realised in India?” Oh  _ god, _ now Q was using that tone he used when agents were about to die. That ‘I’m humouring you right now because you won’t survive long enough to tell anyone’ tone.

“I don’t get it!” He blurted, confused and frustrated, and if Q was playing a trick on him then  _ so be it _ because something  _ did not compute _ and he could not cope with that” “The first time we met. In the gallery. Practically the second thing you ever said to me was about drinking  _ Earl Grey bloody tea!  _ Why would you say that if you don’t like tea?! It  _ doesn’t make sense!” _

Q’s expression instantly morphed into a look of realisation, followed by… was that  _ embarrassment? _ James had never seen Q embarrassed before. Blushing suited him. 

“Oh, that.”

_ “Yes, that!” _ James carefully did not screech. Q visibly bristled.

“Oh, and I suppose  _ you’ve _ never told a lie to impress a mark,” he said, waspishly.

“A  _ mark?!”  _ James really  _ was _ offended now. “I’m not a bloody  _ mark, _ Q! If the chain of command at -6 wasn’t so bloody convoluted, you’d be my bloody  _ boss! _ ” 

And really, he should stop thinking about that, because it made his growing - it wasn’t an obsession, obsession made it sound creepy -  _ admiration  _ for Q just a bit uncomfortable. Q wasn’t  _ really _ his boss, because Bond reported straight to M. That meant that it was perfectly fine to want to take Q out for dinner, and make him tea, and maybe spend 24 whole hours getting to know every single inch of his body, except for the part where  _ Q did not like tea!  _

“Well, why don’t  _ you _ try being sent out to meet the legendary double oh bloody seven on your  _ fourth day in the job _ , when last you heard he was  _ shot off a bloody bridge _ , and oh, yes, everyone in the department you’ve just taken over has spent the last 24 hours telling you _ how good an agent he is _ even if he  _ is _ a total prick _ ,  _ and then you get there and find out that he’s  _ bloody gorgeous! _ See if  _ you _ don’t panic and come out with a witty one liner!” 

James’s mind screeched to a halt.

“You think I’m attractive?” 

Q stared at him like he’d grown a second head.

“You never  _ noticed? _ It’s hardly a bloody secret, Bond. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you I have a crush on you the size of Russia.” 

James had to admire Q. Instead of acting embarrassed, he was staring him determinedly in the eye. Q’s willingness to look challenges in the face was one of the things James admired about him. One of the  _ many _ things he admired about Q. 

And apparently that was mutual. 

“Well,” he faked deliberation, “how about I go and replace this  _ truly evil tea _ with a cup of coffee, and you can tell me all about this crush. ‘You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine’ as it were.” 

As he turned on his heel in the direction of the kitchenette, he just caught Q’s eyeroll.

Well. Maybe he  _ would _ be able to impress Q, after all. Or infuriate him. But if that was the case, he was sure Q would get his own back soon enough. James couldn’t wait. 


End file.
